Tips for the returning expat

By the time you are reading this post, I should be several thousand feet in the air, and returning back to America for the summer. It's always an interesting feeling going home for the summer, because it is full of excitement, hope, and anticipation about the summer along with feelings of fear of the unknown, whether my friends will still be available or will my friends and family change significantly. As I am going home for the sixth time for the summer living overseas, I thought I would post some tips for those who are planning on leaving now or eventually in the future.

1.  Realize that people back home won't understand your experience. This is probably the most important and critical thing to remember when you travel back home to see your family and friends. You had this amazing (or amazingly difficult) experience, and you've done things, traveled, and built a lot of new relationships that basically filled your time and energy while you were away. Those experiences are completely essential, important and valid while living overseas for any extended period of time. However, you also need to realize that no one from back home will understand or appreciate your experience well unless they've done something similar. That will be hard and will feel very disappointing initially, because you will want to tell everyone about everything that you did. Initially, your friends and family will dutifully listen, even though they won't understand. However, they can quickly become tired and bored because they cannot relate to your experiences. They can also become upset, jealous, or envious of other people enjoying your time. This is your classic case of reverse culture shock, and it can be quite emotional. So, the best tip is to share when you are asked, but don't recount every overseas experience you've ever had, and don't share too much when you are not asked to. 

2. Don't talk about yourself too much. This is related to the first point, but once you realize this, you will be able to focus on others more than on yourself and you'll be able to serve others. You were gone for 9 months, so you might forget that everything back home was not frozen in time. But the truth is, they have had their own experiences over the last year or more, and while it may not seem as exciting as your experience, it's important to validate theirs. So, ask questions and keep updated on what is going on in the lives of your friends and family back home.

3. Make new memories.  Again, this stems from the first point, but it's critical to understand that your friends and family are based on shared experiences, so make new ones in the summer.  You made a lot of new memories with people will being overseas for a year or more, so do the same things with the people back home.  That will allow them to feel appreciated and strengthen your relationships in new and exciting ways. 

4. Put down roots.  Yes, because expats usually get some sort of extended holiday to travel back home, many people only spend that time traveling.  I think traveling around your home country or other countries is fine, but God desires that we put down roots wherever we are.  We need people to speak into our lives, we need accountability, we need some routine and stability.  So, rebuild those lapsed relationships, commit yourself to going to church in the summer, and continue to read your bible and pray everyday so that you are listening to and receiving from the Lord.

5. Make the most of your investments.  Whether you have a month or three months off, use your time in the best possible way.  The vacation time will be over and you will be back to Kuwait or wherever you are sooner than you think.  So, don't waste it all watching TV and doing mindless activities, but push yourself to explore, grow and develop.  Start a project to help the family around the house, take an online course, listen to some inspiring talks or sermons, call up that acquaintance you haven't seen in years.  Make a plan for your summer and try to be faithful to it.  Also, use your money as your other investment.  Going out back home may cost more or less, but that's no reason not to see people.  Use your money to be a blessing to others.  Jesus said to use money as a tool to build relationships with others.  Everyone works hard for their money, but show that people are more important by spending it on them and with them.