Tips for Coming (back) to Kuwait

  For many people, the the end of August is when many people come back to Kuwait or start their first job.  The summers in the Middle East are extremely hot, often rising above 120 degrees, so people save up their vacation to go back to their own countries or to travel, and many teachers in Kuwait naturally get the summers off.  It can be difficult coming back to work and to the rigors of life in Kuwait, especially if you, like me, have been living out of a suitcase for the last couple months, or have shirked most professional and spiritual activities.  Also, if you are new to Kuwait, it can be a strange and disorienting experience as a Christian being totally immersed in a radically different world view.  Here are some tips to help people coming (back) to Kuwait.

1.  Go to church.  This cannot be stressed enough.  Getting involved in a bible-believing, God-glorifying church is critical to your spiritual health in Kuwait.  You will be blasted with radically different beliefs about God, Jesus, heaven and hell upon entry or re-entry into the country.  You will also generally be confronted with things that are just culturally or linguistically different, which can be unnerving.  Finally, there will be a host of activities to get involved with, all pulling you in different directions.  Going to church will allow you to be with other Christians, receive some teaching, have your spiritual gas tank refilled, and meet others who are feeling similarly to you.  And don't just go occasionally, but make it something you are committed to, because that is how you will benefit the most from it.

2.  Get in a small group.  Personally, this is as big as going to church.  Going to church is ground zero for getting spiritual revitalization, but it's rarely enough.  Many of the churches in the Arabian Gulf and Kuwait are at a minimum of 50 people or more, and there is no way you can connect to those people in an hour and a half meeting outside a general greeting, handshake or hug.  A small group allows you to go deeper with other Christians, and to get to know their passions and struggles, and they will get to know you, as you pray, study the bible, and apply that the sermon each week to your life.  This has made what could have been a terrible experience in Kuwait into a wonderful one for my wife and I. 

3.  Get to know people.  Yes, this was partially covered in the point above, but it's good to make friends and see people outside of church and life group.  Try to pick at least one other night of the week where you are hanging out with the people that you love and enjoy.  That will bring a lot of stability and peace to your life, and will allow you to build some roots in this country.  Befriend some of the people in your life group or church, and invite them to dinner, lunch or even a cup of tea at your or their place.  Kuwait can be a lonely place, but if you make the effort, you can develop lifelong friends here.

4.  Get in a routine.  This one is just as important.  For those of us who are still getting over jet-lag, we know how insane it is to be out of a normal sleeping routine.  This is true for all aspects of living internationally.  I try to make sure I am consistent when I get enough sleep and go to bed at the same time, when I work out, when I spend time with friends, when I have date night, and even when I take time to relax and read a book.  Of course there are things that interrupt that routine, which is completely normal and acceptable at times, but it's good to have the routine so you can at least have a sense of control over that aspect of your life.

5.  Don't overdo it.  Don't do too much.  I had a friend my first year in Kuwait who tutored for 4-5 hours every day, 5 days a week.  He made a lot of extra money.  Unfortunately, he died of a heart attack that summer, and I believe part of that was contributed to his hectic work schedule.  I'm not saying it's wrong to work hard or even to tutor a little bit, but make sure you have a balance in your life.  Even if you came here to make money, don't let that be the idol you serve, because you'll never get enough and you'll run yourself ragged pursuing it.  God has you here not just for yourself or your family, but to advance God's kingdom, and maintaining a balance of God, family, work, church and ministry is critical to being able to realize it.  

Tips for the returning expat

By the time you are reading this post, I should be several thousand feet in the air, and returning back to America for the summer. It's always an interesting feeling going home for the summer, because it is full of excitement, hope, and anticipation about the summer along with feelings of fear of the unknown, whether my friends will still be available or will my friends and family change significantly. As I am going home for the sixth time for the summer living overseas, I thought I would post some tips for those who are planning on leaving now or eventually in the future.

1.  Realize that people back home won't understand your experience. This is probably the most important and critical thing to remember when you travel back home to see your family and friends. You had this amazing (or amazingly difficult) experience, and you've done things, traveled, and built a lot of new relationships that basically filled your time and energy while you were away. Those experiences are completely essential, important and valid while living overseas for any extended period of time. However, you also need to realize that no one from back home will understand or appreciate your experience well unless they've done something similar. That will be hard and will feel very disappointing initially, because you will want to tell everyone about everything that you did. Initially, your friends and family will dutifully listen, even though they won't understand. However, they can quickly become tired and bored because they cannot relate to your experiences. They can also become upset, jealous, or envious of other people enjoying your time. This is your classic case of reverse culture shock, and it can be quite emotional. So, the best tip is to share when you are asked, but don't recount every overseas experience you've ever had, and don't share too much when you are not asked to. 

2. Don't talk about yourself too much. This is related to the first point, but once you realize this, you will be able to focus on others more than on yourself and you'll be able to serve others. You were gone for 9 months, so you might forget that everything back home was not frozen in time. But the truth is, they have had their own experiences over the last year or more, and while it may not seem as exciting as your experience, it's important to validate theirs. So, ask questions and keep updated on what is going on in the lives of your friends and family back home.

3. Make new memories.  Again, this stems from the first point, but it's critical to understand that your friends and family are based on shared experiences, so make new ones in the summer.  You made a lot of new memories with people will being overseas for a year or more, so do the same things with the people back home.  That will allow them to feel appreciated and strengthen your relationships in new and exciting ways. 

4. Put down roots.  Yes, because expats usually get some sort of extended holiday to travel back home, many people only spend that time traveling.  I think traveling around your home country or other countries is fine, but God desires that we put down roots wherever we are.  We need people to speak into our lives, we need accountability, we need some routine and stability.  So, rebuild those lapsed relationships, commit yourself to going to church in the summer, and continue to read your bible and pray everyday so that you are listening to and receiving from the Lord.

5. Make the most of your investments.  Whether you have a month or three months off, use your time in the best possible way.  The vacation time will be over and you will be back to Kuwait or wherever you are sooner than you think.  So, don't waste it all watching TV and doing mindless activities, but push yourself to explore, grow and develop.  Start a project to help the family around the house, take an online course, listen to some inspiring talks or sermons, call up that acquaintance you haven't seen in years.  Make a plan for your summer and try to be faithful to it.  Also, use your money as your other investment.  Going out back home may cost more or less, but that's no reason not to see people.  Use your money to be a blessing to others.  Jesus said to use money as a tool to build relationships with others.  Everyone works hard for their money, but show that people are more important by spending it on them and with them.  

You Can't Take it with You

As teachers in Kuwait, we have mixed feelings about our status here. My wife and I are provided with a furnished apartment that is part of a 12 floor apartment complex, which is a great deal for us. There isn't much that we've had to add to it.  Because we can never become citizens of Kuwait, we can also make a reasonable assumption that we will not be here for the rest of our lives, but that is up to the Lord to decide. For this reason, we make do with certain things that are not our preference. Yes, we have spent money to buy things that we need and decorated some to make it feel like a home; we fix things that break, and add items that will make it more comfortable, but we are careful about accumulating too many things.

For example, we have these super ugly gold curtains that Stephanie has never liked but lived with for six years. Our dining table is a little wobbly and our chairs have seen some better days. We have also not bought certain items that would be difficult to bring back.  While it would be nice to have a brand new mixer or a high quality blender, we have lived without such things.  It would be great to buy a new desktop computer with a big screen, but we survive with our outdated laptops.  We would love to have a nice stereo system and a grill where we can enjoy good music and barbeques, but we live without them. I'm not saying that having any of these things is wrong, but that we live this way because we know "we can't take it with us."  Even the things we have bought, we will either sell at a fraction of the price we paid for them or mostly likely give them away. If we did try to keep some things, they would probably be damaged or destroyed in transport, and the cost of shipping would be not worth the stuff we have. 

Our time in Kuwait is a bit analogous to the Christian life.  In the same way that we try not to invest too much in our apartment in Kuwait, we should not invest too much in the things of this Earth.  Ultimately, none of us will be able to leave this life with any of the stuff that we have acquired on this Earth.  We won't be remembered for the quality of our curtains or the amount of toys we've collected over the years.  The Bible says that we've come into this world naked, and that is the way we leave it. If the value of the things we've accumulated in Kuwait will be greatly diminished when we decide to leave, how much less will the value of things on Earth be when we enter into our eternal home?  I think we will look back from heaven and say to one another and to ourselves, "Wow, I can't believe I invested so much of my time and energy in _______!"

Similar to the things we do have to make our lives a little easier or more efficient, there are things on Earth that do add value to our lives or are helpful and useful to us.  What we have to realize though is that we are only stewards and not owners of any of the things we have.  I do not own the furniture or apartment that I live in, but I am able to use it to serve the purposes of my family while I am living here.  I believe that we should be a bit reflective before we just run out and buy the latest gadget or replace our furniture at the first sign of wear.  I try to ask myself, "How will this help me serve the people around me better or grow closer to Christ?" before I make large purchases.  There are many things I have said yes to, because they either blessed my wife or enabled us to serve people more effectively, but there are also things I have said no or not yet to, because I thought our time and money could be better invested elsewhere.  This is where prayer, discernment and wise counsel come in. 

If we look forward to one day returning to a house that will still decay and things that will break down, how much more should we look forward to our eternal home!  We will live in mansions built by Jesus, we will have every desire of our hearts satisfied by Him, we will have bodies that will be literally perfect, and we will be with the people we love for eternity.  My prayer is that we would fix our eyes on that Place and that Person, so we can maximize our faithfulness and fruitfulness while we are on Earth.  

Easter in Kuwait

Easter is the largest holiday on earth, celebrated by a few billion people world-wide. This is the holiday that celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, showing that he conquered sin and death, and that all those who follow Him will also be raised to life again. His resurrection is the proof that Jesus was not just some unlucky Jew who was crucified. After being on Earth and spending time with his disciples for around 40 days, he went up into heaven.

However, Easter is not really celebrated in Kuwait and in most of the Middle East. It is less popular than Christmas. Most schools and some other places of employment give Christmas Day off. I think this is because many locals celebrate Christmas in some way, at least by giving gifts or having a tree. Another possible reason is that Christmas gets more attention through Western media than Easter does. Kuwaitis and Arabs hear Christmas music, movies and concerts for Christmas, but there are not nearly as many for Easter. The final reason is that it would not be necessarily wrong to celebrate the birth of Jesus, because Muslims believe in Jesus. They celebrate the birth of Mohammid, and because they believe that Jesus is another prophet, it's not a problem to celebrate Christmas.

Easter, on the other hand, is completely different. Muslims would not want to celebrate this holiday because it clearly shows that Jesus goes far beyond being a mere prophet who brings the truth. It shows that He is the Truth, and there is something uniquely powerful and amazing about Him. It even shows that he is like God, with the power to raise Himself from the dead, which would be blasphemy. So, this is the reason that most people have to work.

Because of this, the holiday can just become another day of work. I had the idea to let my students out a little early so I could celebrate, but I decided to keep them because we had a lot of work to do. Many people had to work, and had their normal commitments after work like tutoring, putting in extra hours at the office, or just unwinding at home.

However, my life group planned a few weeks prior to have an Easter dinner on that day, which breathed life and meaning back into the holiday. It was at the house of one of the couples in our group, and we made a celebration out of it. People brought deviled eggs, potatoes, green beans, dessert, drinks and even ham. It made the holiday a lot of fun. We were able to eat around the dinner table together and pray like a family. It was very meaningful and powerful to have a Christian family even though we were all away from our biological family.

My wife also wanted to attend an Easter choir that was performing at The Lighthouse Church. There were some other friends of ours that were performing in the choir, and they were playing a lot of worship songs along with choir music. I wasn't really excited about leaving the Easter party and then go back, but I consented to go.

The choir was a lot of fun with a lot of good music. There were worship songs that the audience sang along with, and it was a celebratory atmosphere. I believe that Easter should be a celebration, a party and a feast. When Jesus comes back, it will be the greatest celebration ever, and we will weep for joy and party forever.

After the concert, we hurried back to our life group Easter party and we played some games and looked at some pictures from our friends' travels. We stayed about another hour and we decided to go home.

Easter can be a lot of fun in Kuwait and can really accentuate the meaning of the resurrection, but we have to look for it and fight for it. The culture here does not merely push you along the lazy river of the holidays like it does in the West. If I don't make time to think about and make Easter meaningful, then it will have no value for me. In a way, that's more appropriate, because it pushes Christians in Kuwait to make it meaningful instead of a larger culture celebrating the shell of Easter without understanding its meaning.

Bring God on Vacation: India Part 2

In my last post, my wife brought it to my attention that I sounded like I had a negative attitude towards India. I wanted to amend that by saying that while all the things I mentioned are true, I also had a great time. There is so much lush vegetation and natural beauty, along with a ton of historical monuments that are well preserved, including the world-famous Taj Mahal.

Travel companions at Taj Mahal

There are more aspects of bringing God on vacation that I wanted to share about my trip in India. As I said before, I traveled with three other people on my trip.  That is another way we can demonstrate Christ's love is through our interactions with the people with whom we travel.

My friends can attest that I am certainly no perfect travel partner, and I have my fair share (or more) of weaknesses and eccentricities. However, I do continue to try and remember my faith in some way.

Devotions
This is one of the first things to disappear when we go on vacation, and this is tricky for me as well. I am a creature of habit and routine, so when I am thrown completely out of that by going on a vacation, then it's difficult to make that time. However, this is the foundation of being refreshed as a Christian. So, what I try to do is make sure I read some during transit, either on the plane, on the bus or in the car.  While we were traveling around in India, we had plenty of transit time because there was a lot of traffic and driving throughout India.  While part of me wanted to just close my eyes and not engage mentally and just let life slip by, I knew that I probably wouldn't have another opportunity to read, so I pushed myself to read the Bible and pray.  God used it to pour grace into my life to be a little more patient when things weren't going my way, and helped me to realize that vacation is not all about me. 

Mirrors at Amber Fort

Leading
Traveling and going on vacation is a lot of fun because we finally get a break from work.  Because of that, I find that people are happy to just to do whatever, especially as a family or a group of friends.

This was especially true for this trip.  Everyone was pretty happy to just be in India and no one had really strong opinions about what exactly we did.  As a result, it sometimes made decision-making a bit painful.  I tried to be as diplomatic as possible and consider the needs of others, but I think it's helpful to be decisive.

There were a few occasions where we didn't know where to eat because there were many options, so I just ended up suggesting a place and that's where we ate.  I also ended up trying to communicate with the driver the most about what we were doing, because it seemed that no one had a strong opinion about where we were going and didn't really want to attempt to talk to him, so I tried to be helpful by talking to him and expressing our needs as a group- it wasn't easy because he didn't speak English!  Being willing to lead can alleviate deer-in-headlight syndrome that often plagues travelers in a new place.

Praying together
On vacation, I usually eat, sleep, and relax a little too much.  Sometimes I even feel like I've wasted my time on vacation because I've jettisoned all the different spiritual activities like church and small group for that week.  One way I tried to remedy this in India was to be willing to pray with and for the people on our vacation.

Humayan's Tomb in Delhi, a 'mini' Taj-Mahal

When we were about to go back to Kuwait, our friend that showed us around India dropped us off at the airport.  We decided to all pray for her while we were there.  It must have been a strange sight, seeing four Westerners and an Indian huddled in a circle together with our heads down and our eyes closed!  A security officer even asked us if everything was alright.  However, we were better than alright because it was a sweet time to thank God for our trip and bless our friend who was so helpful to us.  I think that by taking action as Christians to still have fellowship and spiritual bonding is important to stay encouraged and to help love one another.

Desert Christmas

About a year ago, I was doing some shopping at the grocery store in the Avenues Mall, which is the largest mall in the country. It was December and I was just picking up some food items and looking through the clothing when I heard music. It was the mall background music, but I knew the song. It was a Christmas song! It was not just a generic, non-religious Christmas song, but it was "O Holy Night." I was totally blown away by this. I'm not sure if maybe the manager was a Christian or they just popped in any Christmas album they found for the background music of the mall, but it is interesting to see how Christmas still exists even in Kuwait.

Beyond this, many of the malls, including the Avenues, have some Christmas decorations. They sell fake trees and some ornaments. There will occasionally be Christmas music at malls and restaurants. The English department where I work also put up a large Christmas tree.

However, for the most part, the holidays do feel a bit different here than back home. For one thing, the weather is warmer. While it's not as hot in December as it is in the summer, it's still in the 50's and 60's, and there is certainly no snow on the ground anywhere.  I personally love that it's not cold, but it does take away from the authentic quality of Christmas.  Also, there are no Christmas decorations on houses. Even as I look out the window, I see a towering mosque surrounded by palms trees, a sign for McDonalds, and power lines in the distance. While some schools get two weeks off for Christmas, most educators and employees don't get any extra time off for Christmas. All I get is the day itself off, which is a courtesy to the Western teachers. It doesn't exactly scream Christmas.

Some of my friends here have a tough time being away from family who are back home during the season, and it can be especially painful for them. Please pray that the many Christians here that are away from their families would be comforted by Jesus.

For me, I really enjoy it because it's so different. I have my wife here who is my main family.  I also have my spiritual family, which are my close Christian friends who are together here with me.  My semester ends about a week after Christmas, so it signals a break. It also means that I get to travel. Additionally, there are many Christmas parties--life group Christmas dinner, life group leaders Christmas celebration, worship team Christmas dinner, and many more that will keep me very busy and overweight for the next two weeks.

I will also probably invite the people from my life group who are not traveling to my house on Christmas Eve and possibly have them spend the night (pending wife's approval), which is a Christmas tradition we started last year. We will open presents in the morning and then go to one of the church services at the Lighthouse.

While Christmas is certainly different in Kuwait, I'm grateful to God that the power of the birth of the Savior has reached even to a Muslim country, which is surprisingly close to where the original event happened.

Teachers Outreach: Part 2

The ideas for the teachers outreach seemed like they would be successful, especially handing out invitations to church with candy, providing buses, and having a specific day where people can hang out and eat after the service.  However, it took a lot more work than we originally realized to execute those ideas. 

Some of the things had to be ordered in the USA, since it would be more cost effective to bring them back at the end of summer, rather than ship them.  We ordered a few hundred little gift bags so we could place the candy inside them.  That was relatively easy.  We also planned on buying candy from the stores when we returned from the summer holiday, and one of our church members is a graphic designer and was willing to make the initial welcome cards to church.  So far, everything seemed to be working out okay.

The problem came in actually making the bags and their delivery.  The first problem was myself.  My school year starts a little later than my wife's and most other teachers, and before we had solid ideas for the outreach, I booked my ticket to come back to Kuwait later in September. Therefore, even though I helped create the idea, I wouldn't be there to actually do the work to carry it out.  I felt guilty not being able to help, but I couldn't change the ticket.

Another problem was 'selling' the idea or getting other people from the church involved.  My wife and my friend, Kyle (who helped come up with the idea), ended up doing most of the work themselves.  We didn't plan ahead with building teams to help create and distribute the bags, so it ended up being a lot more work than it needed to be. 

In spite of my uselessness, they managed to get invitations to several of the buildings and I did end up passing one more set out to another building when I arrived.  The next thing to set up was the actual event.  Again, my wife did most of the work in getting gift cards for prize give away, buying the materials needed (plates, silverware, cups, etc.) and organizing the lunch itself with a catering company and church members.

It was a lot of work, but once we got the bags passed out and organized a bus and activities after church, we were excited.  The event itself went pretty well.  We didn't have a LOT of new people come that day, but there were about 10 new people along with everyone else from church. The worship included a lot of familiar songs, and pastor Mark gave a sermon about how we have come to Kuwait for a job, but God has brought us here for more than just money. 

The after-service lunch was also successful.  Some food was catered, along with a lot of food that members from the church brought.   The plates were randomly tagged so a few people would get gift cards, and people just talked and shared a meal together.  I think this is the meaning of community, people connecting together and sharing their lives. 

While we only had 10 new people come, something else happened.  I believe God was working to draw
other people to our service through our outreach in other ways, because as the weeks went by, more and more new people (not just teachers) started coming to our service.  One reason could be because people might have felt intimidated by a large event like that, but were interested in the church. 

By December, we had as many as 25 new teachers attending, with around 15 who were coming regularly.  We also had a regular bus transportation ministry that would pick people up in the area, take them to church, and drop them off afterward. 

I believe God used the seed we planted to bring new teachers to the Jabriya Life Center.  I was really happy to be a part of something that God used to provide access to church in Kuwait.  I believe with providing transportation and the growth of life groups that resulted, many people have felt genuinely more connected to God and have considered church a joy instead of a burden.

Teachers Outreach: Part 1

Living in Kuwait has a lot of advantages.  For example, it's the end of October and the temperature is still in the 80's Fahrenheit, which makes for some excellent days at the beach, something my friends and I occasionally enjoy.  It also never snows, and it doesn't get too cold, which is great.  I would die a happy man if I never had to drive in the snow or walk through sub-zero temperatures again!

There are a few critical disadvantages to living in Kuwait, though, the main one being the dissemination of information.  What I mean is that taking advantage of opportunities in Kuwait is far more difficult than where I'm from in the West.  For example, I have found a good beach in Kuwait that is a lot of fun.  But, there is no website, Wikipedia page, address, GPS coordinates, or anything else of that nature to find it.  I had to literally go with someone who has been there before, which is how he found it as well. 

Another example is with performing arts.  There are actually quite a few musical and performing groups in Kuwait, but the only way to really find out about them is through word-of-mouth.  While there are websites, they are not readily accessible on search engines like Google.  Also, since there are limited and confusing street addresses in Kuwait, you usually have to figure it out on a map, which adds another layer of complexity and difficulty. 

Candy to be put into bags

Unfortunately, this also affects the church in Kuwait.  Because there are only a few addresses to the few churches in Kuwait, it can be really challenging to find and get to a new church.  I've documented some of my own difficult experiences here, but it is sufficient to say that it took a long time and a lot of work to find the church that my wife and I call home.

Because of all this difficulty, I wanted to make a change and a difference.  I wanted to break down the barriers to resistance to getting to church.  I'm not familiar with all the different cultural backgrounds in Kuwait, but I was familiar with Western teachers living in Kuwait, so that is what I wanted to focus on at first.  I wanted to do whatever I could to make it easy for teacher expats to come to church if they wanted to, and I wanted to at least give them access to information about the Lighthouse Church.

I was sitting with a friend at a coffee shop one evening a couple years ago when we came up with the idea to have a sort of 'teachers outreach.'   As we passed ideas back and forth, I figured out that it's relatively easy to access a large number of teachers because many from each school live in the same buildings.  Once we found the buildings, we could easily get information to hundreds of teachers.

Candy in bags!

All we had to figure out then was what to give them.  My initial idea was some piece of paper with the church information and address on it.  As it was further discussed, we decided to put some candy in it to bless people in some small way, so even if they aren't interested in church, they could enjoy the treats.

The idea was further developed that there would be an outreach Friday at the beginning of the school year in September, which would be a week or so after the information was distributed.  There would be a type of potluck lunch after the service, along with some games and prizes to entice new teachers to come to church that day.  We would also find a way to get some buses to pick teachers up for that initial Friday. 


"It's brilliant," I thought to myself on that evening two years ago!  My friend and I (arrogantly) gave each other high fives as we believed that we figured out how to bring in teachers by the droves. All we had to do was put our plan into action once the summer and fall came.  Little did I know how much work that would entail...