Not Your Typical: Part 4

In the last part of the mini-series of my quest to find a church family in Kuwait, I want to discuss what has happened to our service in the Jabriya Life Center. From the Sunday evening service at the main church site to the embassy church to the Jabriya Life Center, it has been quite a journey.

Like I said before, people at the embassy started to slowly slip out from the service.   I found out later that the people from the embassy church found another location where they could have their original pastor. I felt like I needed to stay and be apart of this 'new' church plant and help out the pastor in any way I could.

However, there were many services where there were less than 20 people coming on a Friday morning, including the worship team. I usually sat near the front, and I was scared to turn around because I was afraid no one would be behind me.

It was a difficult in the beginning because there was not a lot of growth. I started a small group with three other people from the church and just prayed that God would bring people to the service. However, it stayed pretty small that year, but a few new people started to come.

My third year, they switched the pastors to have a new pastor come in and take over the service, because

Pastor Mark Ingram

the other pastor, Pastor Dave, was more needed in administrative roles. Pastor Mark was just a few years older than me and had a family, so we got along quite well. He asked me along with a few others to help lead service.

At the same time, a few more teachers started coming. Some came from the building I was living in at my wife's school, and a few more people started through teacher-friends that I have made over the years. The life group really started to expand and grow to the point where we split into two locations for a while. The church grew to around 60 people or so. God was really blessing it, and I was making some really good friends via the life group I led.

The fourth year gave us even more growth. During that year, our church grew in size to nearly 100 people on a given week. It was amazing. Pastor Mark was also drawing a lot of people because of his dynamic preaching and relatively young age, so there were a lot of young adults who started to attend. We started a transportation ministry also that year to help people who didn't have a car, and we did an outreach at the beginning of the year to teacher, which had some success.  Additionally, we did monthly potlucks after the service so people could get to know one another better and to invite newcomers, which was a lot of fun.

One of the sad things is that Kuwait is a transient place, so there are people who have left, including several good friends and life group members. However, last year, we still increased our size to around 120 people, and a few more life groups started in different areas. So, it wasn't just growth in numbers but in spiritual depth and stronger connections. I was given more responsibility in the church as one of the 'elders,' so to speak, and I have really enjoyed being part of this service.

In conclusion, God has been faithful to me and faithful to the Jabriya Life Center over all these years. I can definitely say that Jabriya is my church family, which has made Kuwait more of a home to me each year. Yes, there have been rocky and difficult times, and I'm sure there are more to come, but I also know that God will continue to bless His church in Kuwait.  The Lighthouse Church and specifically the Jabriya Life Center is certainly not your typical American church, but God is working in amazing ways here as well!

Not Your Typical: Part 3

This mini-series has been about my journey to find a Christian oasis in the Kuwaiti desert. I mentioned my attendance at the Lighthouse church Sunday evening service and how it didn't seem to fit, which drew me to the Protestant service at the American embassy where I felt like I was at home.

However, that home was not meant to last. When I came back from the summer into my second school year in Kuwait, the embassy decided to no longer allow religious services to be held on their property. This was a big blow to the people at our church, and also to the people who were attending the Catholic service.

Perhaps the embassy pastor saw the handwriting on the wall before I did, so the embassy church seemed to be ready by providing another venue for the service. It was no longer at the American embassy, but in the district of Jabriya.

Worship Team at Jabriya Life Center

This area has several embassies around it, and it is mostly a commercial area. The place itself is in a Kuwaiti villa, which is a large, three-story house made of stone. Once you park your car across the street, you enter the villa from the back, and you head down a flight of stairs to the basement, which is a large area with enough room for around 180 seats and a stage area for the worship team and pastor. The floor is completely covered with brown, Arabic-designed rugs, and there is an area in the back where people can put their shoes to keep these rugs clean. There are two additional rooms in the back where children's ministry is held. The first floor of the villa had a living-area and a kitchen where people can have tea and coffee afterwards. The upper floors contained apartments for various people, including the pastor.


The name of the extension in this area was called the Jabriya Life Center, and it was rented and controlled by The Lighthouse Church. The embassy church was held at 11:30, so that time slot was held the same when they came to the new location because the Jabriya Life Center did not previously have a service at this time. Additionally, one of the pastors from the Lighthouse were assigned to that service.

So, we had a new pastor, a new location but the same time and many of the same people. However, this didn't last for long. Many of the people who I knew from the embassy started to disappear one-by-one from that service. Also, a few people from the main Lighthouse church location started to attend. It felt pretty disappointing that once we felt like we could finally get comfortable with a service, things were becoming very rocky again. It was as if our desires to find a service that felt like family where we could build close relationships were evaporating in front of us.

However, I felt compelled to stay and help out Pastor Dave with this service, even though the numbers were getting dangerously small. He was the pastor that encouraged me to start a life group when there were none in the service. We appreciated the fact that the service was overseen by the main evangelical church in Kuwait, even though we also were friends with the previous pastor at the embassy. So, with just a few of the original people from our previous service, a new place and a new pastor, we decided to stay and see what would happen.  

Not Your Typical: Part 2

I discussed in my last blog post about the beginning of God's plan to put my wife and I in a church where we fit best, and mentioned briefly about some of the difficulties and novelties of a church in a land like Kuwait.

Once we started attending the service on Sunday night's, we did end up meeting someone who God has definitely used in our lives over the years. Her name is Darlene, and she was a huge help for us in our first couple years in Kuwait. Darlene is a spit-fire, no-nonsense Texas woman who was always on the go. She worked full-time, played on the worship team, attended several church services and did about a dozen other things in her weekly schedule.

She was very kind to us and very generous to immediately start giving us rides to church and back because she wanted to help us out. This was extremely helpful, because getting a taxi in Kuwait can be an exhausting experience. Imagine stepping outside into a giant blow dryer on maximum heat. Being outside for anything more than a minute and your clothes are wet from perspiration, so waiting for a yellow cab to approach can quickly become an exercise in patience and stamina.

Even worse than that was once a taxi approached, we needed to communicate where we wanted to go to a non-native English speaker, which can be a daunting task, especially since we lived near a very loud major highway. Additionally, the fact that we have white skin makes them see dinar(name of Kuwaiti money) when they looked at us, so we had to act like we weren't very interested or desperate even though we were about to melt into the pavement, and we had to haggle hard to get a price that was even remotely fair for a Westerner.

Typical Taxi in Kuwait traffic

The very idea of having to do this every time my wife and I wanted to go somewhere got old and difficult very quickly. Needless to say, some of the very first Arabic words I learned were numbers to negotiate price and directions to wherever I was going, which still serve me to this day.

So, the fact that Darlene was willing to pick us up and drop us off from church on Sunday, even though we had to be there early for her worship team practice, was a wonderful relief and made an indelible mark of gratitude on us.

Even so, I didn't feel like I was really fitting in on the Sunday night service. I was genuinely exhausted from teaching all day, and because people immediately had to leave after the service for the next one, it still felt pretty lonely.

Darlene also invited us to attend another church service that was held at the American Embassy on Friday mornings. After checking it out, my wife and I really liked it because our minds were refreshed from getting some sleep at the end of the week, the traffic was a lot less crowded on Friday, there was a bit more time to linger and chat after the service, and there were a lot of Westerners attending. We began making more friends and getting to know the people from the service pretty well. The service was a lot smaller, more traditional music was sung, and the pastor also had another full time job so he didn't get the same opportunity to prepare as the pastors at the Lighthouse, but we believed that this is where we could find a church family. Or so we thought.

Not Your Typical: Part 1

Even though I've lived in Kuwait for over five years, I still have to field questions in the summer, such as, "Do they have houses over there?" or "Do you have to ride a camel to work?" My wife and I have to be really still in our sand igloo or it all comes crashing down, and my camel needs an oil change and rub-down every two thousand kilometers.

Another question I get asked a lot is about church. People are very surprised when I tell them I go to a thriving church in Kuwait. In fact, the church service I go to is an off-campus site of the main evangelical church in Kuwait, which literally has thousands of people who attend on a weekly basis.

My first year in Kuwait, I had a difficult time finding the church because the phone numbers on the website didn't seem to work, and there is no really functional address system in Kuwait(another story for another time). Because we didn't have a car, we ended up taking a bus and walking around downtown Kuwait City for the church until we stumbled across the main site.

The area itself is this massive site with several buildings where the different church services are held.  There are lights and plants and concrete all over along with several large awnings.  Additionally, there is a book store, library, some offices, a school and a house.

Once we found the church, we started attending a Sunday night service. However, that wasn't really working for me because Sunday is a work day, and because it was my first year teaching in Kuwait, I was super drained after work, and barely had the strength and motivation to worship in spirit and in truth or to listen attentively to the sermon.

Another thing that was hard was the difficulty in connecting with people. Because there are so many people who need to be fed through the church, there are several services that are one after another, so it felt like there was a need to get out and let the next service in.

Finally, we were quite the minority as Americans. While I certainly love people from all languages and cultures, as a first year teacher and going through some major culture shock of my own, I really wanted some sense of familiarity with people from a similar background, profession, language or shared experience.

It was very strange to be sitting in service with a couple hundred people who are mostly from the Indian subcontinent while the worship leader is a Filipino man playing southern gospel songs, followed by a message from an older American gentleman.  After a long day at work, that was definitely sensory overload!

However, we believed that God would be faithful to us and that we were called as Christians to be apart of the Jesus' church, and we definitely grew through that experience.  While that first year wasn't MY ideal church experience, I realized God used it to lead me to the next level of my faith and eventually to where I am today. 

Going Dutch or Arab Hospitality

Traditional Kuwaiti Dish with lamb, rice and saffron

"I got it," I said as the check landed on the table at the restaurant where we were sitting.  I was as surprised as he was to take care of the bill.  It was at that point that I realized that some of the positive aspects of living in Kuwait have rubbed off on me.

I come from the cultural background where most people 'go dutch,' when it comes to going out for a meal or drinks.  It probably has to do with our highly individualistic culture in America that prompts us to think, "It's only fair to pay for what I purchase, and anything else is not my problem."

I myself am a champion of this 'virtue.'  I would often go to restaurants with friends and either order the cheapest thing on the menu, or even worse, eat at home and not eat anything at all except for a drink, which was usually water.

I grew up from a lower middle-class family, and there were times I remember where I stood in bread lines with my mom at charitable organizations that would provide basic food items at a minimal cost.  Because of this, I always understood the value of a dollar.  Even when I graduated from college, and was making a decent living as a teacher, I tried to save every penny to pay off student loans.  However, I retained this mindset even after I paid off my loans, moved to Kuwait, and receive, by God's grace, a good income.

To clarify, I believe that working hard, saving money and planning for the future are good things.  However, I also have come to believe in the value of being generous through living in Kuwait.

I had some Arab friends I worked with for two years, and when we were spending every day together teaching or in the office, there would often be times when we would go out for lunch or dinner.  After eating, instead of splitting the check multiple ways, which is what I'm used to, they would just wait for the check to come and one of them immediately claimed it and said they were happy to pay.

I was shocked, and the next time it happened, one of my other friends would grab the bill.  This happened repeatedly, and I understood that they were just caring and serving each other in this way.  Even though I have the heart of a mooch, I didn't want to be the only one always on the receiving end of their kindness.  I then started to take my share of the bills.  In fact, there was often some typical Arab-style arguing over who got the bill.  We developed into a natural rhythm of paying for each other, and I learned to offer as much as I could.

I also began to export this concept with my American friends.  Instead of squabbling over who paid for what with separate checks, I just began to offer.  Even though it is always a little painful to foot the check for other people, I am learning that money isn't only for hoarding, but also for giving.  I have found this especially important for new people from work or church to show kindness because they usually don't have a lot of extra money.

I am by no means perfect at this, and my selfish heart often doesn't want to pay, but I realize that Arab hospitality is equally Christian hospitality, and I should have that same reputation among the people that I influence.  I am blessed to be a blessing.

Thursday is the New Friday

In Kuwait, the work-week is slightly different from the Western world. The work week begins in most Arab states on Sunday and ends on Thursday. In fact, the Arabic word for Sunday literally means 'Day 1' of the week. Therefore, people in Kuwait say 'Thank God it's Thursday.'

So, this last Thursday, I finished up my classes and had a meeting immediately afterwards. I was pretty ready to get out of work as early as possible and enjoy my life. As I was walking back to my office to grab my things, I saw one of my colleagues and he asked me how I was doing.

In my heart, I didn't know what to do, because I really wanted to be selfish and not have a long conversation. On the other hand, this individual is asking me about my life, so I didn't want to turn him down.

This summer, I have been praying for opportunities to make a difference as a Christian in my spheres of influence, including my work place. I have also been thinking that every Christian is in full-time ministry wherever they are, and all of our jobs and careers are opportunities for us to share the joy of Christ to those who are around us in whatever way we can. 

Because of that, I (reluctantly) decided to chat with him for a while. We talked about our lives for about an hour and swapped stories. No, I didn't share the gospel or the four spiritual laws, nor did I even mention anything about God. However, I did take an interest in his life, and listen to what he had to say and opened myself up to him.

I hope that God will continue to strengthen me to not be selfish with my time, but willing to give it to people in both planned and spontaneous ways, which I hope will show the love of Christ to the people I interact with.

Fun, Fellowship, Felafel

    After we started our second school year in Kuwait, my wife and I had relocated to a different church service because the US embassy stopped conducting religious services, which is where we were attending.  The new location for us was a bit of an adjustment, but most of the same people we knew also went to the new service.

One of the things that I knew we were missing out on was more personal and connected times with other Christians.  While church is great, it's not really a time where you can get to know people well because every service has a schedule that only includes only a minute or two of greeting.

It's also especially important in Kuwait, when you are dealing with different cultures, languages, and thinking, to be able to have some friends to connect with on a spiritual level. 

Understanding this, I went to my pastor after one of the services and said I would like be a part of a small group (aka life group, care group, cell group, or anything else that ends in group where Christians get together, pray for one another, discuss a book or sermon, talk, and eat a snack).

He looked at me and said that there were no small groups in our service, but that I should start one.   My heart sank.  I had never led a small group before.  Who was I going to invite?  What was I going to talk about?  Who would want follow me?  What if I vomited in the life group because I was so nervous? 

For some reason beyond me, I agreed that I would try to start one.  I then dutifully went through the process of begging, cajoling, and finally coercing some of my friends from the service to go with me.

There were initially five of us, and yes, it was awkward in the beginning.  We didn't know each other well, I didn't know what I was doing, and everything felt mechanical.

Fast-forward three years and I was sitting in a chair with a room full of about 20 people, none of whom were part of my original group.  I recently passed on the leadership to a friend to allow more people the opportunity to lead.  I consider many the people in my group to be good friends, and we spend a lot of time together outside of the group.  I had tears in my eyes as we prayed for each other. 

We laughed, we cried, and we certainly ate pieces of fried and mashed chickpeas called felafel.  I am grateful that God has provided a community and an oasis for so many of the people who are living here in the desert.