Going Dutch or Arab Hospitality

Traditional Kuwaiti Dish with lamb, rice and saffron

"I got it," I said as the check landed on the table at the restaurant where we were sitting.  I was as surprised as he was to take care of the bill.  It was at that point that I realized that some of the positive aspects of living in Kuwait have rubbed off on me.

I come from the cultural background where most people 'go dutch,' when it comes to going out for a meal or drinks.  It probably has to do with our highly individualistic culture in America that prompts us to think, "It's only fair to pay for what I purchase, and anything else is not my problem."

I myself am a champion of this 'virtue.'  I would often go to restaurants with friends and either order the cheapest thing on the menu, or even worse, eat at home and not eat anything at all except for a drink, which was usually water.

I grew up from a lower middle-class family, and there were times I remember where I stood in bread lines with my mom at charitable organizations that would provide basic food items at a minimal cost.  Because of this, I always understood the value of a dollar.  Even when I graduated from college, and was making a decent living as a teacher, I tried to save every penny to pay off student loans.  However, I retained this mindset even after I paid off my loans, moved to Kuwait, and receive, by God's grace, a good income.

To clarify, I believe that working hard, saving money and planning for the future are good things.  However, I also have come to believe in the value of being generous through living in Kuwait.

I had some Arab friends I worked with for two years, and when we were spending every day together teaching or in the office, there would often be times when we would go out for lunch or dinner.  After eating, instead of splitting the check multiple ways, which is what I'm used to, they would just wait for the check to come and one of them immediately claimed it and said they were happy to pay.

I was shocked, and the next time it happened, one of my other friends would grab the bill.  This happened repeatedly, and I understood that they were just caring and serving each other in this way.  Even though I have the heart of a mooch, I didn't want to be the only one always on the receiving end of their kindness.  I then started to take my share of the bills.  In fact, there was often some typical Arab-style arguing over who got the bill.  We developed into a natural rhythm of paying for each other, and I learned to offer as much as I could.

I also began to export this concept with my American friends.  Instead of squabbling over who paid for what with separate checks, I just began to offer.  Even though it is always a little painful to foot the check for other people, I am learning that money isn't only for hoarding, but also for giving.  I have found this especially important for new people from work or church to show kindness because they usually don't have a lot of extra money.

I am by no means perfect at this, and my selfish heart often doesn't want to pay, but I realize that Arab hospitality is equally Christian hospitality, and I should have that same reputation among the people that I influence.  I am blessed to be a blessing.